I want to thank you for this internet posting. I went through a huge depression last spring, a tail end of years of anxiety-depression in which I was unaware of. I identified myself with the depression so much that I did not see myself.

Last spring (2010), I went for help for depression because I finally realized what I was facing. I tried medication. It was not healing for me. Instead it sent me on an anxious frenzie. I felt lost and desperately sought internet help… searching for anything.

I came across your blog and I was touched by your story. When I came across your mention of Ken Wilber I felt a spark. Ken Wilber is one of my favorite transpersonal authors and I am a transpersonalist…. working toward my Bachelors so I can attend the Institute of Transpersonal Studies Psychology Masters course. This mention sparked me to pay attention.

You then mentioned Holosync and how it has helped you. Since I was on a search, and knew for certain medication would not help me, I looked it up. I asked for a demo, was interested, and started with the Awakening prologue. I am now on my Awakening level 1.

I have noticed a change within me to a point that I am aware of why I feel the way I do. Sometimes it takes a while for my awareness to kick in, the good ol’ hind sight trick, but many times in the moment that I am triggered by negativity I can say to myself, “something is up, what is it?” or “this needs attention, remember this and I will work on it later”. Holosync is giving me the space to use all of the great tools I am learning in my transformational life coaching and in my studies.

Oh… my depression???? I got to the bottom of that too. I use depression as a coping mechanism. My mom had it and so did others around me growing up. I learned when something is too much, good or bad, depression will help carry me through it. I understand now that I myself am not depression, depression is a part of me. I now can see other options to cope. These options came from life coaching and also some therapy I attended.

I am not trying to minimize depression because it is a very heavy energy and many people I know and love are still with depression. I am writing here to thank you for introducing me to a method that helped me, along with really looking at my Self, realize what depression was serving, or not serving for me. I spent most of my life depressed and the depression was trying to help me the whole time, I just did not understand that. Now that I do, when depression visits I now recognize it as a friend and allow it to exist, not as the whole me, but as a part of me, and it doesn’t run my life any longer. Your blog helped me tremendously. Thank you.

Thanks for making the depression / addiction or addictive process connection.

Ken Wilber and the ongoingly-emerging Integral model – especially in the Spiritual aspect – are also offering me hope and direction…
Peace, brother