An Answer and a Gift

I wanted to share a powerful experience that I had in meditation the other day. I was using the iAwake Special Edition Digital Euphoria track and I was in a profound state of contemplative prayer, or resting in the presence, as I have begun to call it. Paul Smith, author of Integral Christianity, calls it the Zone, which is also very useful.

In this particular session, I found myself very capable of moving through the 3-2-1 of God perspectives, in other words, 3rd person, thinking about God, 2nd person, talking and seemingly in dialogue with God, and 1st person, there is nothing but God.  As I was in this deep, very peaceful, and ecstatic experience, part of my little Self thought, well, you’re in this deep Zone, and seemingly you have access to this deep source of wisdom that you often teach and talk about, why not use this opportunity to throw the big guy a big one? So, in this very open state, I ask, “Well, what about death?” And the answer came as clearly and as powerfully as anything I have ever received. God said, “I will be there.” I immediately teared up with gratitude and said, “Thank you. I get it. That’s enough.” In deep humility and gratitude, I stopped asking questions and just gave my love, my thanks, and my heart.

I told my dear friend Dennis Wittrock, of German Integrales Forum fame, the story on Skype this morning, and he seemed to have the same reaction that I did. I think God gave me a wonderful, straight answer to one of our most pressing human questions. And it seems to have removed a big chunk of my human fear and anxiety around this subject. When I look in my heart now, I find peace — about death.

I believe that we all have access to the wisdom of God in our deepest hearts and need not fear the journey into our depths. In fact, that very journey is the answer to so many of our issues and problems as humans. It is the answer and antidote to narcissism, despair, lack of purpose, isolation, and our deepest spiritual hungers. Again, at risk of sounding like a broken record, to cultivate this depth, we need to be faithful to our inner and contemplative practices. It seems like one part practice and two parts grace. But then again, it is all God.

Love and blessings,


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